Christmas Past

2016 tree concept

2016 gift wrap scheme

I think many have complicated feelings about the winter holidays. I know I do. I live for the holiday season: the brisk temperatures, extended time off, the excuse for baked goods, the festive lights and mulled wine and fair isle sweaters. But. Like with any highly anticipated thing that comes packaged with high expectations, the holidays generally find me sinking into a state of thwarted perfectionism. The decor must be photogenic, the gift choices flawlessly suited to recipient, the party conversation sparkling and interesting, the family movie choices a hit with every single person present. 2020 has amplified that questioning & anxiety.

How did I manage to gain so much weight this season? Did I do enough this year? I’m another year older - but what do I have to show for it? And with it all: feelings of guilt for being a wet blanket during the holidays when everyone else is already wrestling with their questions too, and trying not to show it.

At the end of a weird year, the questioning and the thwarted perfectionism are weirder too, and likely not improved by spending the season in isolation. To those of us who have complicated feelings and experience complicated holidays: You’re doing great. Happy Christmas, and may better times lie ahead.

Cascadian Snow

Some 2000 feet above sea level in the North Cascades is a reservoir lookout point oft used for engagements, proposals, and elopements. During fairer weather, it’s easy to see why: bright, electric-blue water, emerald islands, and views for days.

One weekend we took our new all-season tires for a day-long spin into the mountains. We arrived at Lake Diablo just as afternoon light began to fade and snow began to fall. Nervous we’d soon be trapped, we budgeted 8 minutes for a quick photo op and immediately descended to the sounds of Taylor Swift’s folklore album.

Discovery Park

At the base of a substantial hill in west central Seattle and right on Puget Sound across from Bainbridge Island is a beach park that feels surprisingly remote for a place just 6 miles from downtown. The other week, we took a masked, distanced park walk with old friends and their beautiful, well-trained border collie.